Let me tell you an interesting story related to diplomacy.
Kiing (1787-1858), full name Aisin-Gioro Kiing, was the most colorful diplomat in mid-19th century China and possibly the earliest diplomat in China. His rise and fall are quite interesting, and it can be said that "diplomacy brought him success, and diplomacy brought him failure."
Kiing was smooth in his dealings, which was particularly prominent in diplomacy. He treated the British in a friendly and personal manner, actively getting close to them, especially the then Hong Kong administrator, Pudengcha. He seized every opportunity to develop a close relationship. For example, when he saw a family photo of Pudengcha, he praised his son vigorously and proposed to adopt him as his own son. He even suggested exchanging his wife's portrait for Pudengcha's wife's portrait. It should be noted that as a Manchu, this kind of behavior was very unusual for Kiing. Pudengcha didn't want to offend him, so he actually agreed to his two requests.
On the one hand, under his various flattery attacks, the British began to trust him. On the other hand, he strongly belittled the British in front of the emperor and implied that the British only trusted him and were only willing to negotiate with him. He gained the emperor's trust through this and finally even obtained the lucrative position of the Governor-General of the Two Jiangs.
In the second Opium War in 1858, the British once again reached the doorstep of the Qing Dynasty, and the emperor hastily summoned Kiing back. This time, he used the same old trick of "appeasement," constantly flattering the British, but was exposed by the British in public. When the British occupied Guangzhou, they found many documents in the office of the Governor-General of the Two Jiangs, which showed that while Kiing was flattering the British, he was disrespectful towards them in his reports to the court. It's like just boasting about how beautiful your blind date is, and then turning around and making a vomiting gesture, only to be seen by the other person.
Kiing was embarrassed and incoherent in his defense, while the British laughed heartily. A man in his seventies naturally couldn't bear such humiliation and left in anger.
In the end, he was executed by the emperor for disobeying orders and having unfavorable negotiations.