Title: "Growing up and becoming unhappy?"
Date: 2017-10-13T22:50:21+08:00
Slug: "Growing-pains"
Tags: [Essay]
Draft: false
During the final meeting of the former members of Xuanze, everyone spoke freely.
Doudou mentioned that she felt strange about why people who work diligently here become unhappy after becoming ministers.
Then Zhouquan expressed his opinion, saying that it's not that they become unhappy, but rather that their threshold for happiness has increased. It's not as easy to be happy, but once they feel happiness, it will be different from how they felt at a lower threshold.
I partially agree with Zhouquan's view. When you are a team member, it's enough to do your own tasks well, simple and beautiful. But as a class monitor or minister, you are no longer just yourself. There are many things you have to consider the emotions of the majority. If you want everyone to support you, it means you are still too young. As a class monitor or minister, vertically speaking, you have to take care of those below you and also those above you. Horizontally speaking, you have to interact with other class departments.
This also reminds me of a previous answer on Zhihu. Why do many men like to sit in their cars for a while after arriving home? One of the answers is that it is their own space. When they open the car door, they are a husband, a father, a son, a worker. Family matters, work matters. But in their own car, they are just themselves. Is this because they are afraid of taking responsibility? Not really. Sitting in their own car, detaching themselves from being an ordinary person, in a closed space, they can enjoy a short period of solitude, have a conversation with themselves. This is a precious opportunity.
When you move up further, it becomes even more difficult to be "happy". Between raising your hand and putting it down, you may be deciding the direction of an organization, determining the development of many departments, and even affecting the interests of hundreds of people. These decisions cannot be made casually. At this point, you need to consider a lot and think far ahead. Making decisions becomes cautious, and work becomes strict and even harsh. As you face more and more people, you cannot guarantee that everything will be done to everyone's satisfaction, which inevitably leads to misunderstandings, making it even harder to be happy.
Although most of the time it may appear as "unhappiness" on the surface, once achievements are made, a sense of accomplishment arises, and that genuine happiness from within is long-lasting and profound.
Along with this "unhappiness," we also become more "mature."
Many thanks to Doudou and Zhouquan for sharing their views.