Tonight I planned to study physics and chemistry, but a friend on BBM sent me a message and I lost interest in reading. So, I took the opportunity of boredom to write some thoughts.
Sometimes, when I'm used to using the Passport, and then pick up an Android phone like the Priv, I have a feeling that there are too many things to face, too many choices, to the point where I'm caught off guard, like 1900 in "The Legend of 1900," who stopped on his way to the land. Why did he stop? On land, there is beautiful love, infinite honor and wealth. However, 1900 said:
"The keyboard has a beginning and an end, you know exactly that the 88 keys are there, you can't go wrong. It's not infinite, but you are. The music you can perform on the keyboard is infinite, and I like that. I can handle it easily. But now you make me walk on a springboard, walk into the city, and what awaits me is a keyboard without end. How can I play on such a keyboard? It's God's keyboard!"
"The city is so big, you can't see the end. Where is it? Can I see it? Even the streets are countless. Find a woman, build a house, buy a piece of land, create a scenery, and then walk towards a dead end together. Too many choices, too complex judgments. Aren't you afraid of a mental breakdown? The land is too big, it's like a big ship, a woman, a long voyage. I would rather give up my life than live in a world where I can't find an end. Besides, no one knows me in this world anyway. The reason I stopped halfway is not because of what I can see, but because of what I can't see."
1900 spent his whole life on the ship, undisturbed by worldly matters, pure as a blank sheet of paper, innocent like a child. He devoted himself wholeheartedly to his piano, only doing this one thing in his life, simple, joyful, pure, and extraordinary. However, faced with the world outside the ship that we are accustomed to, 1900 is filled with unknown confusion and bewilderment, even fear.
When we were young, things were simple and pure, we didn't think too much, and we didn't have to consider the consequences of our actions. As we grew older, we became busy with work, study, and life, sometimes not knowing what we were busy with. We longed to create something of our own, made a series of plans, full of ambition, but in the end, there were always changes that our plans couldn't keep up with. Then came the disappointment, regret, and guilt. We look forward to new changes, but every day we hold our computers and phones, playing games and watching dramas, being idle. And when we lie in bed at night, we fall into deep self-blame.